Fall-Tastic Drink of the Season: Pumpkin and Apple Cider Smasher Recipe
Hello there, avid reader! Today is a great day! The leaves are turning, the breeze is sweeping by, and it’s the perfect time of the year to whip up an amazing seasonal drink for all to enjoy! This mouth-watering, thirst-quenching, delectably-driven, pumpkin and apple cider-infused cocktail is sure to attract everyone to your next fall shindig! With a combination of spicy and sweet, it’s sure to pair well with any fall-themed lunch, dinner, or dessert!
The recipe truly couldn’t be simpler! But, before we dive in, a little backstory on how we came up with this amazing treat!
Earlier this week, I was standing in my kitchenette, gripping the handle of our four-inch pairing knife (a must have for any kitchen-pro). The urge to plunge it deep into my sleeping husband was pulsating through my veins, reverberating from my chest. I could picture it, me standing over him. The couch drenched in his blood, the blade jutting through his ribcage. Sensing that I was about to act, I quickly forced my hand to drop the knife and retrieve a hidden bottle of Celexa. It calmed me, giving me a chance to compose myself and continue my food blog (a big win for all the busy moms out there), but I was beginning to sense that the feeling inside couldn’t be quelled forever. Each day, the want of violence grew stronger.
But why focus on the little things? With the arrival of the new season came opportunities to enjoy the outdoors! I stepped outside and took another Celexa. I didn’t need it right then, but my body had almost acted autonomously; gripping the bottle, twisting the top off, and palming another pill. Mmm, mmm, mmm! The dry, sour taste titillated my senses, and then it came to me: why not combine the earthy taste of pumpkin with the spicy, tart taste of apple cider in a wonderful fall cocktail? The two were meant for one another (and at your next fall get-together)!
Stumbling to my feet, I hurried to my garden, looking for a nice herb to garnish a prospective new recipe (it’s amazing how blurry my vision gets when I stand up too fast). To my surprise, I found a little possum, shifting through my vegetables! Angrily and without thinking, I lunged at it, gripping the thing with white knuckles. It hissed at me, showing its pointed, needle-like teeth, but I didn’t care. Pressing it to the ground, I began to squeeze. With one hand clamped around its ribcage and the other around its neck, I could feel the animal shifting in agony under my weight. I kept going. Rage had taken over, and my face felt hot, dripping with sweat. As the possum attempted to wiggle away from me, its motions became more erratic, spasming and twisting. I began to howl directly in its face, bellowing something from deep within my chest (we’ve all been there before)!
And then I blacked out.
Waking up, I rolled over to see the possum’s mangled corpse. Phew! Glad that’s over. And now, let’s get that recipe!
Ingredients:
One-half cup of your favorite apple cider
Two teaspoons of pumpkin extract
One-third cup of vodka
One-third cup of whisky
A pinch of cinnamon (or, better yet, a splash of cinnamon schnapps)
(Optional) A slice of orange to garnish
And, once you have all those delicious ingredients, just mix them together for an amazing fall cocktail!
